Navrya Samor thoda kami pana ghe…

‘Navrya Samor thoda kami pana ghe to Jasta Prem Karel‘. I heard this recently in one of the videos on Youtube. I laughed at that time but deep down, in my heart, I felt a profound anger and a strong urge to punch the person saying this.

Statements like these not only reinforce the ideology of a woman as secondary to the man, but also snatch the independence of a woman to express her opinions. They attempt to not just avert a sense of pride from her but also make her feel guilty for being better in something than a man.

Statements like these preach that the only divine objective of a woman’s life is to earn as much love as possible from her man and the only way of obtaining it is to remain subdued and even foolish at times.

Such statements which may appear to be insignificant on the face of it can push us, as a society many steps away from that one basic right all human beings are entitled to and that is the right to be treated as equals.

The irony is that a statement like this harms men as well. It demeans a man to an ego centric person who has a strong biological need to be superior to a woman. It doesn’t matter if it is only a perception of superiority and not a reality. Those men who understand this irony do not support such statements. They are the feminists. Those who don’t, well, they are just grownup babies with huge insecurities.

So what should we do about it, especially that you hear these sort of things countless times during the day? The answer is simple, defeat the purpose of such statements. Don’t feel guilty for being good. Don’t feel obliged to comply to them. Don’t judge the rights and wrongs in your relationship from someone else’s perspective. Be proud of yourself and most importantly don’t hesitate to voice your opinion.

Relationships last on a real feeling of mutal respect and love, not on the pretence of it. If there is a mutual respect then the need to prove superiority vanishes. If there isn’t a mutual respect then the water is already murky and the boat is already shaky. In this case acting on the above statement might work but only for a short time. There is an Irish proverb, nodding the head does not row the boat!